Tag Archives: open letter

An Open Letter to All

16 Mar

To everyone I know and love;

We may not know each other super well, but I have a request for everyone.  Please, NO MORE HEALTH ISSUES!  I am tired of hearing that someone is in the hospital. Or needs surgery. Or has died.  I’m exhausted.  I don’t know how much more I can take.

So please, before you do something stupid, think about me!  :p  I’m going to be selfish and tell you that you should all stay healthy, at least for a little bit.



(if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you’ll know that this is in reference to my dad who went to the ER yesterday. He was severely dehydrated and his BP was dangerously high.  He’s okay now, just tired.  Oh, and he’s at work today as well.  Also, Ryan’s Grammy broke her arm and had to have surgery.  One of my dad’s dear friends from the Air Force died of cancer recently. My baby nephew is going to have surgery on his eyes at the end of the month. Then of course all of Ryan’s stuff still.  I’m tired!)

An Open Letter to Sales People Everywhere

12 Apr

Good afternoon, person who shall not be named,

You contacted me a few weeks ago to offer your company’s services in our office supply needs.  Let me point out, that you contacted me.

Actually, you contacted our sales department.  By email.  They forwarded you on to me to take a look at.

After asking for a price quote on information, you gave me some numbers.  In fact, that was all that was in the email that you replied with.  No greeting or salutation.  Just the numbers with item description and your signature.  Already losing points, even though the price was good.

Lucky for us, we had a local office supply store come out at the same time.  They came into our office.  Met him face to face.  He gave me some numbers right away and also took a list of our common products to check out.

His numbers were way better than even yours.  And not only is he local, but they have a paper sample option, free shipping no matter the order size.

Oh, and he got my name right.  In person.  Without seeing it written down.

You on the other hand, didn’t.  Even with my handy signature that has it written correctly.

That sealed the deal.  So thank you for giving me a blog post to write.  And also, I got to write a somewhat snarky email in reply to you that ended with this:

For further reference, I highly recommend that if you proceed to do sales by email that you take the few minutes to double check a name before sending it.  It shows a low level of respect and lack of detail, which just solidified us to choose to go with a different retailer.


The person that apparently needs to change her name to Kelly

Happy Monday everyone!

Open Letters

28 Jul

To the larger gentleman in the yellow Smart Car

Hi!  Thank you so much for helping the environment!  My daughter and any future children I have greatly appreciate it.  Just so you know though, the paw prints and wolf decal on the back window do NOT make you seem tougher.  Nor does it make you look more manly.  I’m sorry, but its true.

A large 300+ pound man in a tiny car will ALWAYS look like he’s coming from a circus.

Please, think of the children!


The lady in the grey Hyundai without any decals

To the Optomotrists that submit requests for information from my company;

I thank you for your request.  It is wonderful that you are showing interest in our product.  What would be even more wonderful is if you work on your typing and grammar.  Words are meant to have one capital letter at the beggining.  Not all lower case and for all that is holy, NOT IN ALL CAPITALS.  I realize the Shift button is a very difficult one to use.  And I realize as well that you aren’t “real” doctors.  But you must have taken some typing classes.  Even if you received your degree before there were computers, they had typewriters that you had to create papers from.  I know this for a fact.

So please.  PLEASE use the shift key properly.  And while you are at it, spell the words correctly.  We aren’t asking for much.  Your name, practice name, address and phone number.  That’s it.  That’s all.


The lady who has to interpret emails

Baby Soup says I cut you, biatch

Baby Soup says "I cut you, biatch"

and one last one.

To the smokers outside my building;

There are about 50 signs around stating what the new Oregon law is.  You cannot ignore the fact that it is now illegal to smoke within 10 feet of the front doors.  The smoking trash cans have even been moved.  There is now no excuse.  None.  Unless you can’t read.  Which, since you currently have employment at one of two companies that have reading based goals, I think is highly unlikely.

So please, do not stand in front of the doors.  Do not blow your smoke in my face.  And by GOD, do not throw your still burning butts on the ground.  Especially not when it’s been 100+ degrees.

Yes, you have the right to smoke.  But I have the right to breathe and NOT BURN IN A FIREY DEATH!

Thank you,

The nursing mother who does not want to die in a fire.

Okay, I feel better.

How’s your Tuesday going?