So, a few weeks ago, the amazingly gorgeous and talented Aunt Becky gave an interview to one of her screaming throng of fans. At the end of it, she put out a call for others to interview her since she was on a roll. I figured, what the hell.
Here is the incredible and enlightening result:
Mrs Soup: Question Numero One: What is your favorite position? NO, not sex position. I totally don’t care about that, besides, I’m sure you’ll get into it in your Toy With Me blog. Your favorite position to sit. See, I sit usually with one leg underneath me or both legs up to my knees if I’m really bored. So I want to picture how you sit at your computer.
Aunt Becky: If I could sit crouched on my knees, I would be the happiest person I know. But I can’t, because I SUCK. So it’s flat on my ass. But I sit at my dining room table. I should take a picture. TOO BAD I’M LAZY.
MS: Mac or PC? Don’t care about the computer, I’m talking about the guys in the commercials. Which would you rather do? The Mac or PC guy?
AB: DUH. The PC GUY. He’s smokin’. That was a trick question, wasn’t it?
MS: If you were approached by this guy:
and he tried to hug you, how would you react?
AB: I would totally steal his hats and run away.
MS: Please explain, in your own words, the true joy that is found in using a Q-tip right after a warm shower.
MS: If you were to write a blog called “Aunt Becky Sucks”, which would turn into a snarky blog about your own blog, what would the main overwhelming theme be?
AB: Dude. How much MORE narcissistic can one person be. Also, the assumed familiarity annoys of naming yourself “Aunt Becky” is borderline psychotic.
MS: How much do you love me?
MS: How many times a day do you wish I had never started stalking you?
MS: Why do you insist on stealing my daughter’s photos and putting them up in your blog? Is your daughter not pretty enough? Did you really have a third boy and were tired of having people ask you if you were going to try for a girl so you made her up?
AB: I lost my child and had to resort to stealing another one from The Internet. Isn’t that what everyone is afraid of?
MS: If you were forced at gunpoint to play a Facebook game, which one would it be?
AB: Bejeweled Blitz.
MS: Your favorite movie quote. You can only pick one.
AB: “It goes to 11.”
MS: What are your orchids names?
AB: I plead the 5th.
MS: You get a call from a newspaper/magazine/online blog and they go “Aunt Becky, omg, we love you so much and want to pay you a million dollars a year to write for us! Please, oh please, will you do it? We’ll buy you a great brownstone apartment in New York City and everything!” Who is it from?
AB: Playboy. Or Maxim.
MS: We’ve talked about our mutual issue of guilt that occurs far too often in our lives. How are you working past getting over guilt?
AB: I’m trying to remind myself that events aren’t always related. Your bad day isn’t related to the fact that I didn’t complete this sweet ass interview on time. MOSTLY.
MS: Do you believe in intelligent life outside of our planet?
AB: Yes. Mostly. Sometimes. Actually, I don’t really think about it.
MS: What is your biggest pet peeve when it comes to writing/reading?
AB: People who use “alot” as one word. It makes me shiver.
MS: Take us through a day in the life. When do you normally get up, what do you do daily, etc.
AB:I normally roll over and run to the room where my boys are shrieking at each other and grab them up before they can wake their sister.The rest of the day is spent returning emails, keeping the children out of the garbage cans, admiring myself in the mirror, abusing pain pills and feeling morally superior to everyone else I know.
MS: Now then tell us how you wish it would go.
AB: I wish that someone else kept the kids from the garbage cans while I was free to feel superior without interruptions. Also, I would like to pay someone to return emails for me. OBVIOUSLY.