Mr. Mom

17 Apr

My husband is a stay-at-home dad.  We are so lucky that my job pays well enough to allow this and I don’t mind not being able to go out every night in order to do this (not that I ever really went out that much to begin with.  Okay, so its not like we ever went out anyways…but still!)  This works best for our financial situation as well as our temperaments and the baby’s.  She is SUCH a daddy’s girl.  There are times that she will not stop fussing until whoever is holding her hands her over to him.  She will then stop crying almost immediately.

What bothers me is the questions that I get as the working parent.  Questions that I know if the situation was reveresed and I was the stay-at-home parent would not be voiced.

“How can you handle leaving your child with your husband all day?”

“How is he able to do it?”

“Is he getting things done around the house?”

And the worst, calling him “Mr. Mom”.

The implication that I would be the better caretaker is insulting.  I will be the first to admit that I don’t have the lion’s share of the patience in the house.  Yes, I have the booby buffet and the uterus that birthed my daughter (without drugs…which is another post for the future) but that is the only things that I have that he doesn’t.

He is by far the better parent.  I’m not dissing my parenting skills necessarily.  I think I’m a pretty good mom.  I also love my daughter so much more than I ever thought.  And I’m fine with that!  But calling him Mr. Mom gets under my skin and drives me crazy.



Ryan’s post in Pacing the Panic Room made these thoughts come to a head.  The stereotyping has gotten out of control.  I understand the need for advertisements to find a niche market and play off of that.  I get it.

But don’t assume that just because I have a vajayjay I am the better parent and my husband is a bumbling idiot who I have to bribe with blowjobs and food to change a diaper.

Oh, and btw, he cooks in our house too.  I can make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich and that’s about it.

Daddy Time

Daddy Time

How’s that for breaking stereotypes?

7 Responses to “Mr. Mom”

  1. kbreints April 17, 2009 at 8:56 am #

    Oh I would have to admit that my husband is at least as good, if not better than me at handling the boys alone. I am so very much ‘stick to the schedule and no one gets hurt’ type and he is the ‘fly by the seat of his pants, get in the car and go’ type of guy. He thinks NOTHING of taking them both out and running to the store… me? I worry about it, plan it out and then hate the entire experience of shopping with BOTH boys.

    You are very lucky to be able to have a parent (any parent) stay home with your daughter…

    • mrssoup April 17, 2009 at 9:58 am #

      We are very very lucky indeed.


  2. Becky April 17, 2009 at 1:20 pm #

    I think it’s totally rude to call him Mr. Mom. There’s such a stupid stigma about men staying home and there shouldn’t be. What a lucky wee one your daughter is. Honestly.

    • mrssoup April 17, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

      I really hope that once she gets old enough to interact with other kids, she won’t get made fun of because her daddy stays home with her.

      We are truly blessed!

  3. Karen April 27, 2009 at 9:16 am #

    My husband has been a SAHD to our 2 children for 7 years and I couldn’t agree with you more. He loves what he does, works twice as hard as I do at my full time job, and is giving our family the best of himself every day. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful, giving partner. Mr. Mom? Please! How demeaning to feminize this man who is every bit as “manly” as his 9 to 5 counterparts if not more so. Move over Mr. Mom, meet our Dad. He does it all – cleans, cooks, and most of all cares for all of us in his own way every day. How lucky are we? Very!

    • mrssoup April 27, 2009 at 9:37 am #

      Hurray for lucky mom’s! I totally agree about working twice as hard as well. Now, if only the stigma would go away and more dad’s would find out it’s okay to love your kids, the world would be a much better place!


  1. Happy Father’s Day « - June 22, 2009

    […] you look at your daughter, I can just see your heart shining through.  I know you love being a Stay at Home Dad so much, and pray that I will be able to allow you to continue doing so. Daddy […]

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